"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

- Maya Angelou, full quote at the end of this post.

I once shared this quote with Prof. Radhika in an e-mail about how I feel how this quote truly reflects the essence of communication in my life. Whatever mistakes we might make in our communication and whatever wrongdoings that are done in the past will all fade away. Yes, some of those more severe wrongdoings will never be forgotten but the minor ones, they will be forgotten. What will be left behind is the feeling that you give to another person from that incident. And that, is what people will remember.

I am sure that most of you might not be able to pinpoint an incident or two to illustrate how a person is being selfish, arrogant or absent-minded. However, you will be able to form an impression or an opinion of what kind of person he is. That is the power of communication. Words that you say will be forgotten but its impact is everlasting. What I take away from this course, the essence of it, is to always think twice before communicating. It has to be a conscious effort made.

I remember how Prof Radhika always mention about using pauses in a presentation, how each gesture must be used appropriately and so on. The point she was driving across, I believe, is that a good communicator is one who deliberates his every moves and think before his every word and action. Each body or hand movement, the tone, the facial expression, the words used and the pauses, ALL of them constitute a message and the combination of them made up a message. Such is the rich and vibrant nature of communication.

It does not stop here. Life is not about being a ruler and having everyone listened to you. Life is one that everyone has their own battles to fight. Understanding another person's position is crucial in a good communication. It is only when you truly understand another person's position then you can make the right choice in communicating appropriately, i.e. calibrate the relevant technical details and craft your message appropriately (e.g. tone, volume etc).

Having said that, once you have conveyed a point, an equally crucial point is to receive feedback. Always be open to what others have to say on your comments. Some of them may be hurtful, but certainly not fatal. There are always things that can kill more than words do. Take note of your counterpart's non-verbals as many people may struggle silently and be left unnoticed. It is precisely what being a nice person would mean - to identify this people and assist them. Be sensitive, take their cues and react appropriately.

While I may seem to assert many imperatives, we are all learners in this grand communication scheme. Never is anyone perfect but we are all striving towards it. This is my last post, and I am glad to have walked this journey with my wonderful classmates and the fabulous professor, Prof Radhika. I wish everyone a good life ahead, a successful career and all the best.

Thank you.

“I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

 - Maya Angelou

Good day everyone! I hope all of you have been doing well in life since my last post. It has been awhile and I'm pretty upset that this blog is coming to an end as this will be my second last blog spot for my journey in Professional Communication. That being said, and as you can see from above, what we will be discussing today is going to be exciting and fun! Yes, I'm sure many of you have been involved in a certain group project and have to interact with other awesome people to produce something at the end. Today, we will be talking about working in a team.

Some may ask, "why work in a team", especially so, when they have several unpleasant experiences working with people. They might prefer to work alone, showcasing their core competencies and relying on no other. Here is a video that will tell us why is it important that we work in a team:

Simply put, we need people to take the helm and lead in their core competencies to achieve certain objectives that we may not be able to do so individually.

Now you're in a team, what's next?

1. Understand other people's Situations and Difficulties

We have different priorities in life but we are in this to complete a certain task. It is important to us to focus on our objective yet at the same time, some of us are also struggling with other areas of life. Certainly, understanding each other is essential. On a practical note, it means giving some extension of deadlines, allowing teammates to swap roles and responsibilities when needed and most importantly, allow honest discussions.

2. Adhere to Deadlines

Be that as it may, it is still important to have small milestones planned to achieve the objective. Set each milestone in line and have deadlines to meet them. Ensure that honest appraisal and review of each person job scope is done consistently through the journey and have things done with the aim of achieving these milestones in mind.

3. Striking the Balance

You may observe that the first and second point may act in opposite direction. Indeed, they do. Therefore, striking a balance is paramount in any form of teamwork. Allowing extension or enforcing the deadlines are one of the options that are difficult to make and require careful consideration. However, the bad news is they have to be done.

Therefore, I'm wishing you all the best in working with your current and future teammates.

Thoughts on Intercultural Communication

Hello everyone!

I hope nobody has been bored reading my previous post and it is time again for another post here! Today, we will be talking about Intercultural Communication. It is a form of communication that aims to get information across to people of a different culture. For each person, there are definitely influences of various cultures that are evident from the way the person speaks, behave and even think! It is important for us to note these aspects but more importantly, we should withheld our judgement until we get to know such person at a deeper level. Before we go into the discussion further, let us look at a short video clip that aims to introduce you to intercultural communication!

Influences of culture can vary between person to person. A person's birthplace, the place that he grew up in, the schools he attended, the kind of friends he made, his parents, his superiors and so on all will make an impart on the person himself and it manifest itself in the person's character traits and behavior. Emotional intelligence comes in handy as we begin to engage a person personally or professionally. An understanding of a person's culture can definitely help us to communicate better and be able to see from the other person point of view. This is especially crucial in resolving conflicts and misunderstandings. Now let us look at some interesting features of certain cultures.



From http://www.facts-about-japan.com/interesting.html, it says, "Religion does not play a big role in the lives of most Japanese and many do not understand the difference between Shintoism and Buddhism. However, there are also many Japanese who do understand the difference." It may be crucial to note this whenever talking to a Japanese and not assume that every Japanese is a Buddhist. Also, it may be wise to not discuss about religions when talking to a Japanese unless one has good knowledge in Shintoism.



Did you know that Spain is run as a monarchy? Therefore, assuming that Spain is a democracy may offend some Spaniards.

Remember that knowledge is important in understanding another person's culture and it is this knowledge that can guide you in your interactions with different people. One word of caution though, Do not stereotype or judge people based on their cultural traits or nationality, each of us are different in many ways despite our cultural influences. It is only through interactions and communicating personally then we will know a person well.

Thank you for reading and I wish you success in communicating with people!

Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Interpersonal conflicts usually arise due to disagreements, these disagreements could be fundamental or trivial. Many of us are motivated to resolve interpersonal conflict as it destroys relationships, be it personal or work.  Destruction of relationships can prove to be detrimental to us as stated in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, social interactions through personal or work relationships is an important need. Today, I shall look at a particular case of interpersonal conflict and examine its nature in detail.

Consider a scenario which some of us may be familiar with:

You have been assigned a room with a stranger in a hostel which you are staying in for the semester. After a few nights, you realize that he has a very different sleeping pattern from yours. You prefer to work in the afternoon and sleep around midnight whereas he work til 3 in the morning (3AM) and take short afternoon naps. The problem arises due to the lighting in the room. While he was working on his assignments, his desk light distracts you from your sleep and making it difficult for you to sleep. You politely requested him to sleep earlier, he responded to your request by sticking black papers around his desk light, without notifying you beforehand. You find that is not working for you either. If you still insist on him adjusting his sleeping pattern while compromising yours (maybe both of you could sleep around 1.30AM), how should you let him know?

I think the problem is an unfortunate one. It is nobody's fault that such a conflict arises, because our sleeping patterns develop through our early years and it is not really within our control to dictate it. That being said, with enough time and effort, we can still alter our sleeping pattern. He sent an obvious non-verbal cue, that is, placing black papers around his desk light without notifying you. Being sensitive to non-verbal cues, you may conclude that he is not comfortable with speaking to you with regards to this issue. You may interpret his actions as a signal is that he is not going to sleep earlier but compromises by placing black papers around his desk light to reduce its impact on you. However,  if that proves to be insufficient, I guess one would have to invite him to a lunch and talk about it. In a friendly and comfortable setting, discuss and understand his reasons for his sleeping pattern. Explore ways in which both of you could reach a compromise, perhaps explain why you cannot adjust more to his sleeping patterns, it could be due to afternoon lessons and so on. Convince him that he may be in a better position to adjust more to your sleeping pattern as he can easily study in the afternoon instead.

Something like this may transpire in the midst of the conversation: "I understand that it may be overboard to ask you to adjust your sleeping pattern, but considering the fact that I am unable to take afternoon naps like how you did due to my lessons, I really hope you can do your assignments in the afternoon while you are in the room so that we can both sleep earlier at night.".

However, despite all the efforts made, at times the other party may not cooperate. When such situation arises, we can only seek the help of higher authority, that is, to request for a change of room. Naturally, we would want to avoid this awkward situation and having to learn the idiosyncrasies of a new roommate. Therefore, it is important that we acquire good communication skills to avoid conflicts and perhaps more importantly, to resolve them whenever we encounter them in our working and personal lives.